i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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