I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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