dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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