my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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