didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
