Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
