I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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