You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
