im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
