I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
