Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
