thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
