then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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