i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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