Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
