And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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