so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
