It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Acid is not a monday night drug
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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