omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
