remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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