I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Randomize
