Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
