The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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