11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
