I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
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