So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
