Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
