His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
i am craving dick and cupcakes
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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