i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Randomize
