but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
