pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
