How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Randomize
