So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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