Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Randomize
