I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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