Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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