I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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