On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
