What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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