So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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