Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
