Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
you would pick up someone in the library
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
