please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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