i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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