There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
