Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
