physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
