Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
