I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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