I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
