Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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