I wish I could punch you in the face.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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